Reflecting with new awareness –
I find it funny how two men, who claimed to know me the best and were delusional enough to believe they could war it out and win me over with words and phrases like, “compromise’, “medication,” or better yet … “She’s difficult,” actually thought they won, when in reality, I was only biding my time. Let me tell ya how that wins a very aware and awakened woman over, albeit, a sometimes stubborn one.
I find it even funnier that two years ago, I went with it, fully-well knowing that it was ruining what were supposed to be the happiest days of my life. They spoke and conversed out of fear and control. Not love. Neither of them had ever acted on anything but, their entire lives.
You may have been doing your best, but …
Sadly, one doesn’t have that luxury and the other is running out of time.
I didn’t need two generations of curses from entirely different families to swallow me right back into recovery, when in fact, these two were the ones who needed it.
On the flip, as excurtiating as it is to become fully aware of yourself, toxicity and abuse, it’s necessary to surrmount those very things, within and without.
Days spent in toxic environments or days spent listening to sleeper speech are few and far between. This was hopefully my last bout of bitterness running wild, although the looming chapters are on the horizon, so don’t hold your breath.
Thanks for letting me vent…extremely cautiously. That won’t be the case soon…
And these sweet little excerpts are going to look more like poetry in motion… a little (much more) like this…
Because let’s face it, if they wanted a warmer introduction, they should have behaved better: